Wednesday, 3 December 2008

How to solve a misery

I've never had a blog before. I don't really know what to do with it. I think I'll just copy the format of other blogs I like until I get some ideas of my own.

I feel ill. I want to watch a film in bed. I want to watch something with Eugene Pallette in it, principally because i suspect the profound rumblings of his voice might loosen whatever it is that's making my lungs rattle. If I am very lucky, he might even agitate my bodily atoms, causing them to leap around, rub against one another and generate valuable frictive* heat. He will be a warming and welcome panacean presence. 

And what a presence! Good grief, the man's built like a planet. Maybe it's this which makes him such a reassuring ingredient in comedies. His colossality* gives the other characters licence to zoom around in all kinds of screwy orbits - the gravitational tug of his mighty bulk prevents them from spinning off the edge of the screen. He's buried in Kansas and I'm amazed that more of America hasn't been sort of sucked into that state the same way a swimming pool cover disappears when you throw a breezeblock into the middle of it.

God, I feel awful though. I'm going to lie down in the dark. I'll have to watch the film later.

*not real words

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